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Graduate School Personal
Statement Guide

The Admissions Essay Prep Leader shares essay writing strategies and samples that will help you gain entrance to your first choice graduate school. For more free essay writing advice and for help with your admissions essay, visit EssayEdge.com


Graduate School Statement Strategies
 
  • Why Graduate School
  • Why Qualified?
  • Why Exceptional?
  • Wait-list Letter
  • Transfer Essay
  • Editing Checklist
  • Sample Essays
    		•

    Why Graduate School?

    The secret to doing this theme well is to show why you want to study your field. Don't just say it and expect it to stand on its own. Admissions officers want believable details from your life that demonstrate your desire and make it real to them.

    One secret to avoiding the here-we-go-again reaction is to keep an eye on your first line. Starting with "I've wanted to be a physicist since�" makes admissions officers cringe. Yes, we know it's an easy line to fall back on, but these poor people have read this sentence more times than they can count, and it gets old fast. Instead, start with a story that demonstrates your early call to law. Look, for example, at the first paragraph of this essay:

    "That's not fair." Even as the smallest of children, I remember making such a proclamation: in kindergarten it was "not fair" when I had to share my birthday with another little girl and didn't get to sit on the "birthday chair." When General Mills changed my favorite childhood breakfast cereal, "Kix," I, of course, thought this was "not fair." Unlike many kids (like my brother) who would probably have shut up and enjoyed the "great new taste" or switched to Cheerios, this kid sat her bottom down in a chair (boosted by the phone book) and typed a letter to the company expressing her preference for the "classic" Kix over the "great new taste" Kix. 

    In telling the story, this writer demonstrates that the roots of her political activism run deep without having to ever say it. She doesn't just tell us and expect us to take her word for it-she shows us.

    Another approach that is overdone is the "my dad is a XXX" approach. Some admissions officers said that when the only reason an applicant gives for wanting to study a field is a family legacy, it makes them question not only the motivation but the maturity of the applicant. While this doesn't mean you need to hide the fact that your parent is a member of your desired field, it does mean that you should avoid depending on that as your sole reason for wanting to go to graduate school. If a parent truly was your inspiration, then describe exactly why you were inspired by them, and what you have done to test your motivation in the real world.

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    Why Qualified?

    Another major theme deals with your experience and qualifications both for attending graduate school and for becoming a contributing member of your field. Having work experience or research experience in your field is always the best evidence you can give. If you have none, then consider what other experience you have that is related. The rule to follow here is: If you have it, use it.

    Field Experience

    Direct experience with your field of study is the best kind to have in your essay. But the important thing to remember here is that any type or amount of experience you have had should be mentioned, no matter how insignificant you feel it is. Here is an example of an essay by an HIV counselor and one by an applicant with ER experience who both are applying to medical school.

    Research Experience

    A word of caution: Do not focus solely on your research topic unless this is the standard practice of your field of study and you must outline your thesis. By over relying on your research, you risk your essay sounding impersonal. Watch out for overuse of jargon. If it is necessary for the description of your project, then, of course, you have no choice. But including jargon in your essay just because you are able to will not impress anyone. This applicant, for example, delves into the use of scientific and medical terms, but also also spends enough time away from them to reveal his own personal, non-technical voice.

    Unusual Field Experience

    Even if you have no formal experience, you might still have field experience that counts. Maybe you are an accomplished amateur astronomer or have been researching quantum physics for years before deciding to pursue a PhD. This applicant deals with a fascinating success story: The writer was forced to become a doctor by default in a village in Honduras for a summer, even though she had no formal training, no experience, and her only supply was "a $15 Johnson & Johnson kit."

    Why Exceptional?

    If you are different in any sense of the word-if you are an older applicant, a member of a minority, a foreign applicant, an athlete or musician, disabled, or have an unusual academic or career background, use this angle to your advantage by showing what your unique background will bring to the school and to your field. One interesting topic for foreign students, for example, might be to talk about how the education system differs in this country and why they are choosing it over a course of study in their own country and/or language. 

    Beware, however, that there are instances where playing the diversity card will backfire: 

    If you are a "student of diversity" then of course, use it. But don't harp on it for its own sake or think that being different by itself is enough to get you in-that will only make us feel manipulated and it can show that you didn't know how to take advantage of a good opportunity.

    Only people with significant and documentable disabilities should bring them up in the essay. By that I mean not the current popular overdiagnosed disability du jour, which in my day was ADD.

    The secret is to tie in your diversity strongly with your motivations or qualifications, or with what you can bring to the class. If you can't make a strong tie-in, then you might simply make a brief mention of your exceptional trait, background, or talent instead of making it the focus. This can be a very effective approach because it shows that you have enough confidence in your qualifications and abilities to let them stand on their own. It is as though you are simply mentioning the fact that you are blind or a refugee from a war-torn land or a violin virtuoso to add shading to your already strong, colorful portrait.

    Some applicants, however, will have the opposite problem and will feel uncomfortable stressing their differences. Career switchers or older applicants, for example, sometimes feel insecure about incorporating their experience into the essay, thinking that they will only draw attention to the fact that the bulk of their experience is in another field. If this sounds like you, remember that your past experience gives you a unique perspective and you can use your essay to turn this into an advantage instead of a liability. Or, alternately, you could stress the similarities instead of the differences and make your diverse job experiences relevant by drawing comparisons between the skills required in your current field and the ones that will be needed in graduate school. This writer draws multiple parallels between studying English literature and his experiences volunteering with the American Civil Liberties Union.

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    Wait-list Letter

    If you've recently been wait-listed, take heart: you still have a chance. However, too many wait-listed applicants assume that the only way to get off the wait list is to wait. Unless the school specifically advises otherwise, you should follow up with the school to reiterate your interest and fill them in on any thing new that might help your chances.

    Schools want to admit people who will attend; this is particularly true of the wait list. There will be many people on the wait list who already made a decision to attend another school; there will be others who desperately want to attend the school in question. Admissions officers can only distinguish these two groups of people by the level of interest you show after being wait-listed.

    You should write a concise wait-list letter in which you:

    1. Express your interest in attending the school. You should thank them for considering you and not mention your disappointment at not being accepted. You might even let them know this is your first choice school. At this stage, they will believe such a claim since if it weren't your first choice school, you would not bother to write an essay.

    2. Mention your recent accomplishments / activities that will impress the admissions committee. Maybe you improved your GPA or led a successful business team. Maybe you volunteered as a big brother or started a business. Mentioning these things can only help your case, particularly if
    you make the wait-list letter consistent with your first personal statement. Admissions officers will reevaluate your whole application before admitting you off the wait list.

    3. Realize the school did not accept you for a reason. You are wait-listed because they saw a small weakness in your application. Perhaps you had a low test score or inadequate extracurricular activities. Without mentioning your weakness, mention things that strengthen your application and eliminate a perceived weakness.

    4. Let them know you are serious about attending the school and can provide additional references, information, etc.

    Whatever you do, don't write more than 1.5 pages. These admissions officers read hundreds to thousands of essays and don't want to see information repeated in a wait-list letter. Send a letter every 3 - 4 weeks. It never hurts to include another strong letter of recommendation as well.

    Transfer Essay

    Tips for the Transfer Essay
    By: E. Whitney Soule, the Director of Transfer Admission at Connecticut College

    Transferring from one institution to another is competitive and complicated. Before a student can even think about the details of transferable credit, housing, and financial aid, he or she must get admitted.

    Like freshmen applicants, transfer students compete for limited space in a college or university. Submitting solid academic credentials is an obvious requirement. However, most institutions will require an essay that explains the student's reasons for transferring. If done well, the essay can be the most powerful and convincing part of a transfer student's application.

    Admission officers review hundreds, sometimes thousands, of applications every year and have to make decisions quickly based on the information available at the time of review. They will be especially discerning when considering transfer applications. After all, the student has already been through the application and enrollment process once (sometimes twice!), and an admission officer will want to be sure that the next landing is for good.

    Since it is unlikely that admission officers will have the time to call an applicant for more information, questions often get answered by extrapolating from the information available in the application. Therefore, an applicant must anticipate the questions an admission committee might ask and then answer them in the essay(s).

    Without exception, transfer students have specific and tangible reasons for wanting to leave one college and attend another. Every admission committee will want an explanation. It is both appropriate and important for the applicant to be able to articulate the reasons for choosing the first school, why that school is no longer the right fit, and why the next school will be better.

    For example, if a student writes a simple essay explaining that he wants to transfer from University A to College B, "Because College B is smaller and on the east coast," the admission committee may interpret that the student prefers smaller classes, is homesick, prefers an undergraduate majority, and so on. Yet, had the student written a detailed essay about how his original desire to attend a large university in the Midwest was no longer appropriate given his new passion to study marine biology in College B's new science facility, the admission committee would have confidence in the student's motivation to pursue transferring.

    Naturally, if an applicant's credentials have obvious inconsistencies, the essay will need to address those as well. For one applicant, the problem might have to do with a curious drop in G.P.A. and for another, it may have to do with a switch in major or concentration. 

    Unfortunately, little consistency exists among colleges and universities regarding transfer deadlines, application requirements, admission formulas, and transfer credit evaluation. However, all transfer students will be expected to explain their circumstances and choices, most often through an essay or two. The transfer essay is a student's opportunity to tell it like it is, to get to the nitty-gritty and defend it with confidence.

    E. Whitney Soule
    Associate Director of Admission
    Director of Transfer Admission
    Connecticut College

    Editing Checklist

    SUBSTANCE

    Substance refers to the content of the essay and the message you send out. Here are some questions to ask yourself regarding content:

    �         Have I answered the question asked?

    �         Do I back up each point that I make with an example? Have I used concrete and personal examples?

    �         Have I been specific? (Go on a generalities hunt. Turn the generalities into specifics.)

    �         Could anyone else have written this essay?

    �         What does it say about me? After making a list of all the words you have used within the essay -- directly and indirectly -- to describe yourself, ask: Does this list accurately represent me?

    �         Does the writing sound like me? Is it personal and informal rather than uptight or stiff?

    �         Regarding the introduction, is it personal? Is it too general? Can the essay get along without it?

    �         What about the essay makes it memorable?

     

    STRUCTURE

     

    The meaning of an essay can be obscured by not properly ordering your ideas. Your essay should be a roadmap leading the reader to an inevitable conclusion.

    �         To check the overall structure of your essay, conduct a first-sentence check. Write down the first sentence of every paragraph in order. Read through them one after another and ask the following:

    o        Would someone who was reading only these sentences still understand exactly what I am trying to say?

    o        Do the first sentences express all of my main points?

    o        Do the thoughts flow naturally, or do they seem to skip around or come out of left field?

    �         Now go back to your essay as a whole and ask these questions:

    o        Does each paragraph stick to the thought that was introduced in the first sentence?

    o        Does a piece of evidence support each point? How well does the evidence support the point?

    �         Is each paragraph roughly the same length? Stepping back and squinting at the essay, do the paragraphs look balanced on the page? (If one is significantly longer than the rest, you are probably trying to squeeze more than one thought into it.)

    �         Does my conclusion draw naturally from the previous paragraphs?

    �         Have I varied the length and structure of my sentences?

     

    INTEREST

     

    Many people think only of mechanics when they revise and rewrite their compositions. As we know, though, the interest factor is crucial in keeping the admissions officers reading and remembering your essay. Look at your essay with the interest equation in mind: personal + specific = interesting. Answer the following:

    �         Is the opening paragraph personal?

    �         Do I start with action or an image?

    �         Does the essay show rather than tell?

    �         Did I use any words that are not usually a part of my vocabulary? (If so, get rid of them.)

    �         Have I used the active voice whenever possible?

    �         Have I overused adjectives and adverbs?

    �         Have I eliminated clich�s?

    �         Have I deleted redundancies?

    �         Does the essay sound interesting to me? (If it bores you, imagine what it will do to others.)

    �         Will the ending give the reader a sense of completeness? Does the last sentence sound like the last sentence?

    PROOFREADING

     

    When you are satisfied with the structure and content of your essay, it is time to check for grammar, spelling, typos, and the like. You can fix obvious things right away: a misspelled or misused word, a seemingly endless sentence, or improper punctuation. Keep rewriting until your words say what you want them to say. Ask yourself these questions:

    �         Did I punctuate correctly?

    �         Did I eliminate exclamation points (except in dialogue)?

    �         Did I use capitalization clearly and consistently?

    �         Do the subjects agree in number with the verbs?

    �         Did I place the periods and commas inside the quotation marks?

    �         Did I keep contractions to a minimum? Do apostrophes appear in the right places?

    �         Did I replace the name of the proper school for each new application?

    �         Have I caught every single typo? (You can use your spell-checker but make sure that you check and re-check every change it makes. It is a computer after all.)

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    From ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman.  Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational Series, Inc.

    . . . . . . . . . .
    Copyright © 2003 Scholarship 8
    All Rights Reserved
     

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