Graduate School Personal
Statement Guide
The Admissions Essay Prep
Leader shares essay writing strategies and samples that will help
you gain entrance to your first choice graduate school. For more
free essay writing advice and for help with your admissions essay,
visit EssayEdge.com
Graduate School Statement Strategies
Why
Graduate School?
The secret to doing this theme well is to show why you want to
study your field. Don't just say it and expect it to stand on
its own. Admissions officers want believable details from your
life that demonstrate your desire and make it real to them.
One secret to avoiding the here-we-go-again reaction is to keep
an eye on your first line. Starting with "I've wanted to be a
physicist since�" makes admissions officers cringe. Yes, we know
it's an easy line to fall back on, but these poor people have
read this sentence more times than they can count, and it gets
old fast. Instead, start with a story that demonstrates your early
call to law. Look, for example, at the first paragraph of this
essay:
"That's not fair." Even as the smallest of children, I remember
making such a proclamation: in kindergarten it was "not fair"
when I had to share my birthday with another little girl and
didn't get to sit on the "birthday chair." When General Mills
changed my favorite childhood breakfast cereal, "Kix," I, of
course, thought this was "not fair." Unlike many kids (like
my brother) who would probably have shut up and enjoyed the
"great new taste" or switched to Cheerios, this kid sat her
bottom down in a chair (boosted by the phone book) and typed
a letter to the company expressing her preference for the "classic"
Kix over the "great new taste" Kix.
In telling the story, this writer demonstrates that the roots
of her political activism run deep without having to ever say
it. She doesn't just tell us and expect us to take her word for
it-she shows us.
Another approach that is overdone is the "my dad is a XXX"
approach. Some admissions officers said that when the only reason
an applicant gives for wanting to study a field is a family legacy,
it makes them question not only the motivation but the maturity
of the applicant. While this doesn't mean you need to hide the
fact that your parent is a member of your desired field, it does
mean that you should avoid depending on that as your sole reason
for wanting to go to graduate school. If a parent truly was your
inspiration, then describe exactly why you were inspired by them,
and what you have done to test your motivation in the real world.
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Why
Qualified?
Another major theme deals with your experience and qualifications
both for attending graduate school and for becoming a contributing
member of your field. Having work experience or research experience
in your field is always the best evidence you can give. If you
have none, then consider what other experience you have that is
related. The rule to follow here is: If you have it, use it.
Field Experience
Direct experience with your field of study is the best kind to
have in your essay. But the important thing to remember here is
that any type or amount of experience you have had should be mentioned,
no matter how insignificant you feel it is. Here is an example
of an essay by an HIV counselor and one by an applicant with ER
experience who both are applying to medical school.
Research Experience
A word of caution: Do not focus solely on your research topic
unless this is the standard practice of your field of study and
you must outline your thesis. By over relying on your research,
you risk your essay sounding impersonal. Watch out for overuse
of jargon. If it is necessary for the description of your project,
then, of course, you have no choice. But including jargon in your
essay just because you are able to will not impress anyone. This
applicant, for example, delves into the use of scientific and
medical terms, but also also spends enough time away from them
to reveal his own personal, non-technical voice.
Unusual Field Experience
Even if you have no formal experience, you might still have field
experience that counts. Maybe you are an accomplished amateur
astronomer or have been researching quantum physics for years
before deciding to pursue a PhD. This applicant deals with a fascinating
success story: The writer was forced to become a doctor by default
in a village in Honduras for a summer, even though she had no
formal training, no experience, and her only supply was "a
$15 Johnson & Johnson kit."
Why
Exceptional?
If you are different in any sense of the word-if you are an older
applicant, a member of a minority, a foreign applicant, an athlete
or musician, disabled, or have an unusual academic or career background,
use this angle to your advantage by showing what your unique background
will bring to the school and to your field. One interesting topic
for foreign students, for example, might be to talk about how
the education system differs in this country and why they are
choosing it over a course of study in their own country and/or
language.
Beware, however, that there are instances where playing the diversity
card will backfire:
If you are a "student of diversity" then of course, use
it. But don't harp on it for its own sake or think that being
different by itself is enough to get you in-that will only make
us feel manipulated and it can show that you didn't know how
to take advantage of a good opportunity.
Only people with significant and documentable disabilities
should bring them up in the essay. By that I mean not the current
popular overdiagnosed disability du jour, which in my day was
ADD.
The secret is to tie in your diversity strongly with your motivations
or qualifications, or with what you can bring to the class. If
you can't make a strong tie-in, then you might simply make a brief
mention of your exceptional trait, background, or talent instead
of making it the focus. This can be a very effective approach
because it shows that you have enough confidence in your qualifications
and abilities to let them stand on their own. It is as though
you are simply mentioning the fact that you are blind or a refugee
from a war-torn land or a violin virtuoso to add shading to your
already strong, colorful portrait.
Some applicants, however, will have the opposite problem and
will feel uncomfortable stressing their differences. Career switchers
or older applicants, for example, sometimes feel insecure about
incorporating their experience into the essay, thinking that they
will only draw attention to the fact that the bulk of their experience
is in another field. If this sounds like you, remember that your
past experience gives you a unique perspective and you can use
your essay to turn this into an advantage instead of a liability.
Or, alternately, you could stress the similarities instead of
the differences and make your diverse job experiences relevant
by drawing comparisons between the skills required in your current
field and the ones that will be needed in graduate school. This
writer draws multiple parallels between studying English literature
and his experiences volunteering with the American Civil Liberties
Union.
Wait-list Letter
If you've recently been wait-listed, take heart: you still have
a chance. However, too many wait-listed applicants assume that
the only way to get off the wait list is to wait. Unless the school
specifically advises otherwise, you should follow up with the
school to reiterate your interest and fill them in on any thing
new that might help your chances.
Schools want to admit people who will attend; this is particularly
true of the wait list. There will be many people on the wait list
who already made a decision to attend another school; there will
be others who desperately want to attend the school in question.
Admissions officers can only distinguish these two groups of people
by the level of interest you show after being wait-listed.
You should write a concise wait-list letter in which you:
1. Express your interest in attending the school. You should
thank them for considering you and not mention your disappointment
at not being accepted. You might even let them know this is your
first choice school. At this stage, they will believe such a claim
since if it weren't your first choice school, you would not bother
to write an essay.
2. Mention your recent accomplishments / activities that will
impress the admissions committee. Maybe you improved your GPA
or led a successful business team. Maybe you volunteered as a
big brother or started a business. Mentioning these things can
only help your case, particularly if
you make the wait-list letter consistent with your first personal
statement. Admissions officers will reevaluate your whole application
before admitting you off the wait list.
3. Realize the school did not accept you for a reason. You are
wait-listed because they saw a small weakness in your application.
Perhaps you had a low test score or inadequate extracurricular
activities. Without mentioning your weakness, mention things that
strengthen your application and eliminate a perceived weakness.
4. Let them know you are serious about attending the school and
can provide additional references, information, etc.
Whatever you do, don't write more than 1.5 pages. These admissions
officers read hundreds to thousands of essays and don't want to
see information repeated in a wait-list letter. Send a letter
every 3 - 4 weeks. It never hurts to include another strong letter
of recommendation as well.
Transfer
Essay
Tips for the Transfer Essay
By: E. Whitney Soule, the Director of Transfer Admission at Connecticut
College
Transferring from one institution to another is
competitive and complicated. Before a student can even think about
the details of transferable credit, housing, and financial aid,
he or she must get admitted.
Like freshmen applicants, transfer students compete
for limited space in a college or university. Submitting solid
academic credentials is an obvious requirement. However, most
institutions will require an essay that explains the student's
reasons for transferring. If done well, the essay can be the most
powerful and convincing part of a transfer student's application.
Admission officers review hundreds, sometimes thousands,
of applications every year and have to make decisions quickly
based on the information available at the time of review. They
will be especially discerning when considering transfer applications.
After all, the student has already been through the application
and enrollment process once (sometimes twice!), and an admission
officer will want to be sure that the next landing is for good.
Since it is unlikely that admission officers will
have the time to call an applicant for more information, questions
often get answered by extrapolating from the information available
in the application. Therefore, an applicant must anticipate the
questions an admission committee might ask and then answer them
in the essay(s).
Without exception, transfer students have specific
and tangible reasons for wanting to leave one college and attend
another. Every admission committee will want an explanation. It
is both appropriate and important for the applicant to be able
to articulate the reasons for choosing the first school, why that
school is no longer the right fit, and why the next school will
be better.
For example, if a student writes a simple essay
explaining that he wants to transfer from University A to College
B, "Because College B is smaller and on the east coast,"
the admission committee may interpret that the student prefers
smaller classes, is homesick, prefers an undergraduate majority,
and so on. Yet, had the student written a detailed essay about
how his original desire to attend a large university in the Midwest
was no longer appropriate given his new passion to study marine
biology in College B's new science facility, the admission committee
would have confidence in the student's motivation to pursue transferring.
Naturally, if an applicant's credentials have obvious
inconsistencies, the essay will need to address those as well.
For one applicant, the problem might have to do with a curious
drop in G.P.A. and for another, it may have to do with a switch
in major or concentration.
Unfortunately, little consistency exists among colleges
and universities regarding transfer deadlines, application requirements,
admission formulas, and transfer credit evaluation. However, all
transfer students will be expected to explain their circumstances
and choices, most often through an essay or two. The transfer
essay is a student's opportunity to tell it like it is, to get
to the nitty-gritty and defend it with confidence.
E. Whitney Soule
Associate Director of Admission
Director of Transfer Admission
Connecticut College
Editing
Checklist
SUBSTANCE
Substance refers
to the content of the essay and the message you send out. Here
are some questions to ask yourself regarding content:
�
Have
I answered the question asked?
�
Do
I back up each point that I make with an example? Have I used
concrete and personal examples?
�
Have
I been specific? (Go on a generalities hunt. Turn the generalities
into specifics.)
�
Could
anyone else have written this essay?
�
What
does it say about me? After making a list of all the words you
have used within the essay -- directly and indirectly -- to describe
yourself, ask: Does this list accurately represent me?
�
Does
the writing sound like me? Is it personal and informal rather
than uptight or stiff?
�
Regarding
the introduction, is it personal? Is it too general? Can the essay
get along without it?
�
What
about the essay makes it memorable?
STRUCTURE
The
meaning of an essay can be obscured by not properly ordering your
ideas. Your essay should be a roadmap leading the reader to an
inevitable conclusion.
�
To
check the overall structure of your essay, conduct a first-sentence
check. Write down the first sentence of every paragraph in order.
Read through them one after another and ask the following:
o
Would
someone who was reading only these sentences still understand
exactly what I am trying to say?
o
Do
the first sentences express all of my main points?
o
Do
the thoughts flow naturally, or do they seem to skip around or
come out of left field?
�
Now
go back to your essay as a whole and ask these questions:
o
Does
each paragraph stick to the thought that was introduced in the
first sentence?
o
Does
a piece of evidence support each point? How well does the evidence
support the point?
�
Is
each paragraph roughly the same length? Stepping back and squinting
at the essay, do the paragraphs look balanced on the page? (If
one is significantly longer than the rest, you are probably trying
to squeeze more than one thought into it.)
�
Does
my conclusion draw naturally from the previous paragraphs?
�
Have
I varied the length and structure of my sentences?
INTEREST
Many
people think only of mechanics when they revise and rewrite their
compositions. As we know, though, the interest factor is crucial
in keeping the admissions officers reading and remembering your
essay. Look at your essay with the interest equation in mind:
personal + specific = interesting. Answer the following:
�
Is
the opening paragraph personal?
�
Do
I start with action or an image?
�
Does
the essay show rather than tell?
�
Did
I use any words that are not usually a part of my vocabulary?
(If so, get rid of them.)
�
Have
I used the active voice whenever possible?
�
Have
I overused adjectives and adverbs?
�
Have
I eliminated clich�s?
�
Have
I deleted redundancies?
�
Does
the essay sound interesting to me? (If it bores you, imagine what
it will do to others.)
�
Will
the ending give the reader a sense of completeness? Does the last
sentence sound like the last sentence?
PROOFREADING
When
you are satisfied with the structure and content of your essay,
it is time to check for grammar, spelling, typos, and the like.
You can fix obvious things right away: a misspelled or misused
word, a seemingly endless sentence, or improper punctuation. Keep
rewriting until your words say what you want them to say. Ask
yourself these questions:
�
Did
I punctuate correctly?
�
Did
I eliminate exclamation points (except in dialogue)?
�
Did
I use capitalization clearly and consistently?
�
Do
the subjects agree in number with the verbs?
�
Did
I place the periods and commas inside the quotation marks?
�
Did
I keep contractions to a minimum? Do apostrophes appear in the
right places?
�
Did
I replace the name of the proper school for each new application?
�
Have I caught every single typo? (You can use your spell-checker
but make sure that you check and re-check every change it makes.
It is a computer after all.)
From ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL,
by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998
by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational
Series, Inc.
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